37 – Tyrannosaurus69 Visits the Jurassic Coast – SCTS IX at LvlUp, Bournemouth


“It’s a funny old game” were words the mustachioed and balding Londoner Jimmy ‘Greavsie’ Greaves would often use to end a long, rambling sport-related deadpan witticism or risque double entendre, sending Ian ‘Saint’ St John into breathless, Lanarkshire accented chuckles on the football talk show ‘Saint and Greavsie’. While this comment was often applied to a goalkeeper failing to make an easy save, “Even a Scottish goalkeeper could have caught that one Saint”, or a giantkilling feat in the fixtures, it could very easily be applied to the game of Infinity. Each weekend all around the country ordinary people from such diverse walks of life as surveyors, scientists, software engineers and soldiers carry out pilgrimages to shops, scout huts, church halls and community centers to engage in their shared passion – the weird and wonderful world of tabletop wargaming. Shedding their suits and ties and cladding themselves in innocuous nicknames such as ‘pootleflump’ and ‘bobman’ these benign mortals become gods, controlling the fates of painstakingly painted metal models, ordering them around a miniature landscape seeking to improve the probability of rolling a particular number on a 20-sided dice. It is indeed a ‘funny old game’, but a game that I have a deep love for, so I chose to ignore my internal misgivings at my lack of tournament inexperience and walk amongst these giants by taking a trip to a mecca of gaming on the South Coast, LvlUp Gaming, for the SCTS IX. With a number of players at the SCTS travelling up to St. Albans on the 26th August for my team ITS event, including some coming all the way from Bristol, the least I could do was to go on an away trip of my own.

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36 – Big Trouble in Little Lo Pan’s


“You just listen to the old Pork Chop Express here now and take his advice on a dark and stormy night when the lightning’s crashin’ and the thunder’s rollin’ and the rain’s coming down in sheets thick as lead. Just remember what old Jack Burton does when the earth quakes, and the poison arrows fall from the sky, and the pillars of Heaven shake. Yeah, Jack Burton just looks that big old storm right square in the eye and he says, “Give me your best shot, pal. I can take it.”

With Wotan in the rear window and the new ITS season just a glimmer in Gutier’s eye Matt and I wanted to keep the Infinity truck rollin’ after playing roughly once a week during the online campaign, with the benefits of frequent bouts evidenced by Matt popping his cherry to win his first ITS event in Hemel Hempstead, something I take full credit for. The first Fat Yuan Yuan mission ‘Baconland’ being such a blast the decision to move onto number two was made faster than a greased pig, not least because the title of said scenario makes a lewd and gratuitous wink towards one of my all-time favourite films, Big Trouble in Little China. Just as the Chang Sing and Wing Kong gangs clashed in the movie my long-neglected Qapu Khalqi would be goin’ down in China Town with Matt’s vanilla flavoured Nomads. Winning the roll off Matt chose to take first turn, while I opted to take the side that didn’t involve me having to move.

Continue reading “36 – Big Trouble in Little Lo Pan’s”