33 – Garagefinity II – The Final Showdown

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“Would you rather have the entire infinity range for free, or sex with Megan Fox?” Standards were slipping considerably as alcohol meandered its merry way through our bloodstreams. For the sake of posterity, Matt, always the dedicated hobbyist, chose the models over the model. After clarifying that we were only seeking the comforts of the Hollywood superstar due to the gentle and pain-free deaths of our other halves,  Tom opted to make Megan’s day, although there would be a few unusual requests made of Ms. Fox to seal the deal [which I won’t go into here]. Initially, I wholeheartedly agreed with Tom; however, after seeing the new Caledonian starter, I want a takeback. Sorry, Megs, maybe another time. Chin up love.

For the final showdown the forces of the E.I. would be pitted against Future Yanks in a game of Decapitation. Winning the WIP roll I opted to go first in hopes of getting in an alpha strike against Tom’s Lieutenant.

Onyx
Same list as before because Limited Insertion

 

vant
Freedom isn’t free

 

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Onyx deployment – 4 alien Core Link with Nexus Hacker on their morning commute, Matt sitting at the desk of shame thinking about his mistakes…
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…M-Drone, Q-Drone and Camo Marker [Noctifer]…
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…Xeodron Haris Link with Umbra Samaritan.

 

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‘Murican deployment, left to right – Unkown Ranger, 5-person Minuteman Link…
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…Marauder Haris – Sniper in his perch, a Marauder HRL, and another Marauder. Van Zant was off the board practicing being a sneaky wanker.

 

Onyx Turn 1

Boosting his hacking signal via the M-Drone the Nexus Hacker booted up Assisted Fire on the Q-Drone, the Remote hopping to the top of the crates to draw a bead on the Marauder Sniper. Learning on the job a little with my Onyx, this being only my third game with the spearhead of the EI’s forces, it soon came to my attention that Snipers > Plasma Rifles at medium range. Who knew? The Q-Drone now a smoldering pile of wires and vat manufactured alien flesh, it was time for the Noctifer to materialise, shouldering his Heavy Rocket Launcher. I learnt another important lesson then, namely that Marauders have MSV1, the Sniper chalking up kill number two.

 

 

 

Lives and learns. Undaunted, it was time to get my TAG on, with the Haris link sending the Unknown Soldier back to his tomb.

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Proving that painted is always better than unpainted.

 

Running low on orders it was time to make an attempt on Tom’s Lieutenant, bunkered down in the train toting an HMG. Confident in the ability of my Sith Lord with No Wound Incapacitation and his heavily armoured TAG sidekick to tank the return fire while still claiming the LT kill, a couple of minutes later I was not only disappointed, but also in Loss of Lieutenant. There’s always a rainbow after the storm, however, with the Marauder Sniper bleeding out, the final Xeodron dropping the HMG to even up the LT kills and, after reading the mission, my realisation that Loss of Lieutenant doesn’t count in this scenario!

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Joke’s on you Tom, LoL doesn’t count.

 

USAriadna Turn 1

A single picture says a thousand words. In this case it will have to, as I forgot to take any others. Tom spent the majority of his turn in an attempt to take out the last Xeodron, with Van Zant dropping in behind my lines to take up overwatch on the new Lieutenant, the Nexus Hacker.

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New dance craze sweeps the Infinity community

Lieutenant Kills

Onyx 1 – 1 USAriadna 

Classified Objectives Completed

Onyx 0 – 0 USAriadna

 

Onyx Turn 2

Tom had by now transcended the happy stage of being drunk and instead turned into That Fucking Guy, ruling my TAG was too big to get into the train to ‘Coup-de-Grace’ the Unconscious former Lieutenant. Checking the rules it appeared he was actually right, so, after a mumbled apology for calling Tom names, my Xeodron instead Super Jumped onto the roof of the locomotive to sight the Prone Minuteman Link. In the resulting bloodbath the Heavy Infantry team was mauled, although they sold their lives dearly, taking the TAG with them into death. Unfortunately I failed to bring down Tom’s new LT choice, one of the Marauders having received a hasty and somewhat reluctantly received field promotion last turn.

 

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Rawr!
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Ladies and Gentleman the issue has now been resolved and we will be continuing our journey; thank you for your patience.

 

USAriadna Turn 2

Somehow I managed to take even less photos of my opponent’s second turn, i.e. none. I blame it on being too distraught with Tom using the lack of any breathing aliens on his left flank to complete one of his Classifieds, ‘Telemetry’, to take a commanding lead, as well as take up a perimeter around Go-Go Marlene, my HVT. I do have a picture of Tom using a tape-measure if that helps any?

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It doesn’t help any.

Lieutenant Kills

Onyx 1 – 1 USAriadna 

Classified Objectives Completed

Onyx 0 – 1 USAriadna

Onyx Turn 3

Desperately short of both orders and Classified Objectives my only play was to run the Van Zant gauntlet and gun down Tom’s LT on the other side of the board. The 6th Airborne Ranger Captain grinned while casually head-shotting both my Nexus Hacker Lieutenant and Unidron Link as, one-by-one, they came into his gun sights on their futile way towards the remaining Ariadnans.

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You know it’s not going well when your opponent begins to pack away during your turn.

 

Lieutenant Kills

Onyx 1 – 2 USAriadna 

Classified Objectives Completed

Onyx 0 – 2 USAriadna

Objective Points

Onyx 0 – 10 USAriadna

Final Tournament Rankings

Tom – 7 Tournament Points

Me – 4 Tournament Points

Matt – 2 Tournament Points

While I didn’t manage to secure the win and was roundly bitch-slapped into second place, all agreed Garagefinity II was an absolute blast. I cannot recommend these mini-tournaments highly enough as an excuse to get together with friends to drink, talk shit and roll dice, Limited Insertion or otherwise. In fact, so much of the enjoyment was had that I immediately bought a tournament pack for another Infinity ITS, which has now swelled to 8 people! Cannot wait. In the meantime I’m going to focus on getting over my Van Zant induced saltiness after yet another rampage by Roger through my ranks. No-one really shone for the Combined forces as I fumbled and fudged my way with a newish army, so, with a huge amount of reluctance, it is my extreme displeasure to award Mr. Van Zant the MVP for this game. Congratufuckinglations.

CVB280177-0549
Bastard

 

 

 

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Author: redheadhobbies

I've been a fan of the 40k universe since I was a 10 year old kid playing with my brother's RTB01 beaky marines painted as Rainbow Warriors. After ending my love affair with 40k due to shitness and dropping out of the hobby for a little while, I have now been reinvigorated by the awesomeness that is Infinity.

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