33 – Garagefinity II – The Final Showdown


“Would you rather have the entire infinity range for free, or sex with Megan Fox?” Standards were slipping considerably as alcohol meandered its merry way through our bloodstreams. For the sake of posterity, Matt, always the dedicated hobbyist, chose the models over the model. After clarifying that we were only seeking the comforts of the Hollywood superstar due to the gentle and pain-free deaths of our other halves,  Tom opted to make Megan’s day, although there would be a few unusual requests made of Ms. Fox to seal the deal [which I won’t go into here]. Initially, I wholeheartedly agreed with Tom; however, after seeing the new Caledonian starter, I want a takeback. Sorry, Megs, maybe another time. Chin up love.

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32 – Garagefinity II – Opening Skirmish


Facebook is a fantastic forum for staying in touch with far-flung family members, a perfect platform for sharing in life’s little successes and setbacks, and an excellent example of cutting-edge technology being employed to bring communities, countries, nay, the human race, closer together. It’s also a cracking place to get into pointless arguments with complete strangers in a petty attempt to ruin their day. ‘All Things St. Albans’ residents’ group was my latest battlefield,  lines drawn up on either side of the momentous matter of whether commuters should be permitted to park their cars outside other peoples’ houses to save themselves the cost of sticking their Merc in the train station’s multi-storey. Leading the charge against the sadistic space stealers I dealt what must surely be a mortal blow with the comment “Yeah, but what if they’ve got kids, or are disabled even, and you’re stopping them parking outside their house?” Logic you way out of that one Colin, you twat. However, no sooner had this ferocious attack left my furiously typing fingertips, a riposte was immediately returned; “If only those selfish wankers with garages would actually park their bloody cars in them rather than use them as sheds, we would all have a parking spot”. Conceding defeat, I retreated from social media in order make my lists for the mini-tournament I was holding in my garage that weekend.

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