Over-hyped, a waste of resources, a joke taken too far, the Fat Yuan Yuan has split opinion in a way not seen since, well, the Tech-Bee a month earlier. Some members of the community have been left saltier than a side of bacon by the beer-drinking butterball taking up the lion’s share of April’s release slots. Surprisingly, I found that the release of this dumpy droptroop had absorbed all of my usual cynicism like a slice of bread soaking up gravy, with the porky pirate soon coming to represent everything I love about Corvus Belli; a willingness to engage with and respond to their customers, creativity bordering on genius and, most importantly, a sense of humour, something a certain large competitor lost in the early 90s amidst all of the GRIMDARKNESS [TM]. When my good friend Matt challenged me to a game I leapt at the chance to delve into the delightful dossier of missions designed especially for the mammoth mercenary. First on the butcher’s block was Baconland.
With piglets purchased [sadly only two would arrive in time, requiring a bewildered Blood Bowl halfling referee to be pressed into service as the third] I seized the opportunity to test-run a slightly modified anti-camo botspam NCA list designed for Gribbley Gaming’s Campaign Weekend, a non-ITS narrative based event being run that weekend by James ‘Gribbler’ Newman, AKA ‘Murkage’. Sadly I never got to use this list in anger as I was forced to withdraw at the 11th hour, but I’m 100% certain it managed to be an amazing event even though I wasn’t there.
Matt would be using his beloved Corregidor which, we soon came to realise [much to mine and his astonishment], included a few models that were actually WYSIWYG!
The icing on the cake was a free Fat Yuan Yuan, although, with my noodle box still working its way through the Spanish postal service, slightly more svelt versions were enlisted.
Winning the WIP roll I opted to go first, with Matt making me deploy first.
NCA Turn 1
Boring stuff out of the way first. The Fusilier Hacker put Assisted Fire on the Sierra Dronbot, before the wave of Sniffer Remotes began their advance, a flipped Command Token allowing all four bots to use a Synchronised Order to begin to cover the board in a web of anti-camo goodness.
Spotting that a member of the Wildcat link had been a little careless in his deployment, the Swiss Guard revealed to send a missile winging towards the hapless space gypsy. Predictably, all that was left of the Wildcat when the smoke cleared was a rather interesting [and lumpy] shade of red paint. The tricksy Swiss then re-enaged his TO:Camo state, fading into the scenery like a giant, armoured, missile launcher toting chameleon.
As the Fusilier link-team moved towards the first little piggy, with a ‘beep-boop!’ the Sierra Dronbot cycled up its HMG, sighting on the only other available target, the Tomcat Engineer. Clearly someone had been careless carrying the little robot as its targeting array was massively misaligned, missing with all but one shot, easily beaten by a Dodge roll.
Thin Yuan-Yuan ignored his rumbling stomach and resisted the temptation of dropping onto the nearest available pig, instead safely parachuting onto the board out of line of sight.
Two more Command Tokens were flipped on synchronising the Sniffer Remotes up the board. Three of them went down to AROs, but not before they had placed their payload close to the Camo Markers. Whomp! The Deva Lieutenant passed a Sensor roll, leaving the two Intruders standing in the open with their asses in the breeze. No Surprise Shots for you!
Corregidor Turn 1
Matt’s Yuan-Yuan was clearly hungrier than mine, and, unable to resist the temptation of the trembling swine, parachuted in aggressively just outside my deployment zone, dropping to a hail of Combi-Rifle bullets from the Fusilier link.
Shrugging off the loss of his droptroop Matt employed his usual smoke shenanigans, with a Jaguar throwing Smoke on top of his Sniper Intruder. My hapless Remote was hopelessly outclassed, slipping into two levels of Unconscious from the DA ammo.
‘Slicing the pie’, the Gecko peeked around the corner of Happy Panda Noodles, dropping the Missile Launcher Fusilier, breaking the link, and severely blunting my offensive capabilities.
By the end of turn 1 the hyperpower had lost two key personnel, while the cyber-tramps had lost only one Wildcat. The hogs remained happy and unmolested in the centre of the board.
NCA turn 2
“Here piggy piggy”. Making gentle soothing noises and avoiding sudden movements the Fusilier link advanced onto the roof of the nearest building, the Hacker successfully passing a CivEvac roll on the sow.
Leaving the link, and feeling slightly ridiculous, the Hacker herded the hog towards the safety of my deployment zone.
Enough of that smoke/MSV2 bollocks. The Deva with Spitfire climbed out of his perch, moving across to take a bead on the Intruder. Faring far better than his little cousin, the biosynthetic cyborg put the itinerant Intruder Unconscious.
The little Fugazi then Flashpulsed the Tomcat Engineer before performing a Coup-de-Grace on the Intruder. Not bad for an 8-point Remote!
Corregidor Turn 2
The Tomcat Engineer blinked away the white spots in his vision, advancing behind the building to take a bead on the pig-herding Fusilier. Fortunately for me the line-troop passed his Dodge, ducking back around the corner, swine safely in tow.
Advancing to the edge of the building the Tomcat drew a bead on the Deva, a Crit and a failed armour save accounting for the vat-grown meat puppet.
The marauding Nomad, spotting that the Fusilier link had adopted ‘teardrop formation’ [I really need to stop doing that] dropped his Combi in favour of his Flamethrower, burning one of the screaming Fusiliers to death and sending another unconscious, leaving only the link team leader who had managed to hurl herself out of the way.
Switching to the other side of the board, the second, much less scary Combi-Rifle Intruder advanced on the pig, successfully convincing it to come back to his side of the table for unlimited truffles, omitting to mention the horrific painful death that would follow dinner.
NCA Turn 3
Taking a little time to reset the game state after Matt accidentally re-camo’d in ZoC of a Sniffer, it was time to save the pig from being eaten by the space pikeys. The Swiss Guard slid along the rail of the building, launching a missile at the Jaguar. The missile was way off target, with the Jaguar successfully planting Smoke over the pig and Intruder.
Sensing an opportunity the Fat Yuan Yuan moved up to the corner of the building before leaping into combat with the Intruder, sending him straight to dead with his Shock CCW, and Matt into Loss of Lieutenant! FYY then Dodged into the cover of the smoke, successfully passed his Synchronise Pig roll, and moved towards the Pan O deployment zone. Hero.
Making a play for the centre piggy/halfling the Fusilier who had avoided being roasted last turn backed away from the pesky Tomcat Engineer, spraying bullets as she went, the Nomad frustratingly refusing to go down. The Fusilier guarding the pig stepped out to finish the job, my grin slowly fading as I realised that he was just in range of the Engineer’s Flamethrower, the line-troop becoming roast pork with points needlessly thrown away. Bugger.
When you absolutely, positively have to kill every muthafucka in the room the Swiss Guard is your man, and this time he didn’t let me down, finally putting the Tomcat away in a spectacular display of overkill. This freed up the Fusilier to make a run at the centre swine. However the tricksy Matt played a ‘Scent of Truffle’ card, moving the pig 4 inches away from me and cancelling my attempt to Synchronise Pig!
Using my Lieutenant Order the remaining Deva moved up to provide some overwatch on the centre pig, with the Swiss sliding across to setup overlapping fields of fire.
Corregidor Turn 3
In LoL, Matt spent his remaining Command Tokens to turn Irregular Orders into Regular. With only one play left his Gecko stomped around the corner, dropping the remaining Fusilier and advancing on the pig, losing a structure point from the Deva as it went. The Jaguar used its Irregular Order to cleverly obscure the vision of the Deva and Swiss Guard with a well placed Smoke Grenade.
Free to pick up the pig and drag it back to his deployment zone, Matt was now looking likely to come out the victor. Moving the Gecko into base contact, the order Synchronise Pig was declared. “Scent of Truffles!” Grinning, I played my card, moving the pig away from the TAG and towards my deployment zone. Using his last order, the Gecko chased down the swine. “Scent of Truffles!” I had drawn not one, but two odd numbered Classified Objective cards. With that we shook hands and counted up the points.
>Have a Synchronized Pig in CivEvac state at the end of the game (1 Objective Point for each Synchronized Pig in CivEvac state).
NCA 1 – 0 Corregidor
>Have more Synchronized Pig in CivEvac state than your adversary at the end of the game (2 Objective Points).
NCA 3 – 0 Corregidor
>Have a Synchronized Pig in CivEvac state in the player’s own Deployment Zone at the end of the game (1 Objective Point for each Synchronized Pig in CivEvac state).
NCA 3 – 0 Corregidor
>Have a Synchronized Pig in CivEvac state with the Fat Yuan Yuan at the end of the game (1 extra Objective Point).
NCA 4 – 0 Corregidor
>To have your own Fat Yuan Yuan not be in a Null state at the end of the game (1 Objective Point).
NCA 5 – 0 Corregidor!
For the Hyperpower!
Well that was ridiculous amounts of fun! This mission was a blast from start to finish, and the sight of the Gecko chasing after the pig at the end will stay with me for a long time. Only having to worry about one objective was refreshingly straightforward, and this would make a fantastic introduction game, especially as it dos not require Specialists. I’ve just been made a WarCor [had to get that in somehow] and will definitely be using a slightly tweaked version of this and the other missions in this brilliant PDF when I’m teaching the rules to beginners.
Although my dice were pretty poor this game and despite losing two key models early, I managed to sneak out a win, with a few important turning points. Firstly was Matt throwing away his Yuan Yuan. Using mine to CivEvac a pig and keeping him alive earned me two valuable OPs. Matt dropping smoke onto his own Intruder which allowed me to get into CC with my Yuan Yuan turned out to be in my favour, although the most important reason for the win was drawing two ‘Scent of Truffles’ cards!
My list worked really well. Although not designed for this scenario at all, the Sniffers functioned exactly as planned, nullifying the Sniper Intruder and allowing me to take him down, then preventing the other from re-camoing and slinking off with a pig. Against a camo-spam Ariadna list this would be gold, but even if your opponent doesn’t bring more camo than a redneck wedding the Fugazis with the Flash Pulses are great little ARO pieces at only 8 points a pop. Having the Spitfire Deva as a poor man’s Aquila Guard to see through smoke and camo was a real comfort too, and he managed to more than earn back his points by taking out the Sniper Intruder.
As this was my first time with this list I perhaps played a little too aggressively and clumsily with the Remotes, losing three of them to AROs, and I would be a little more defensive next time, perhaps only spending two Command Tokens for Synchronised Orders. Even so it still wasn’t a whole lot of points lost. Another downside is that the Deva Lieutenant is a bit obvious, but the CSUs make for great defensive pieces if your opponent tries to snipe her out, and her Sensor skill helps to prevent against Oniwabans sneaking up on her.
MVP – there’s only one choice. Take a bow, you beautiful, buxom bastard.